How to find your Destiny in life?

your destiny is where 3 circles overlap!

before you start, remember you need to be honest with yourself !

the first circle is what you LOVE doing. this are  the things that makes you forget everything else, that you can spent hours on doing it, that makes you feel so much, that you are passionate about, that really touches your heart. don’t think only about now, reflect on your entire life: when you were a child ? when you grew up ? later on ? is there one thing that connects several periods? same types of hobbies for example?

create a list (A ) of things that belongs to this circle.

 

the second circle is what you’re GOOD at, or at least feel you have an excellent ability, or a great Potential. something that is easy for you to do in compare to other people,

create a list (B ) of things that belongs to this circle.

 

the last circle is things the WORLD NEEDS, think of things around you that you don’t like, that you want them to be different/better, things you care about : it can be a problem the world itself suffers from like air pollution, it can be a problem of a certain group ( children, woman, poor,…) of a difficulty people around you suffer from ( aren’t able to manage their time, unhappy, not in shape, want to loose weight,..)

create a list (C ) of things that belongs to this circle.

 

now, let’s see:

if you do things that are only on circle A – then it’s ridicules, because you’re not really good at them and the world doesn’t need them

if you do things that are circles A & B – then you’re superb at them, but it’s something the world doesn’t need, that other people don’t find it valueable

if you do things that are circles B&C – then people need it and they will be willing to pay you ( because you’re good at ) but you don’t love doing it, so what’s the use ?

 

only if you find something that is in ALL the 3 circles, then you can find your destiny : it’s something you’re passionate about, your good in it and the world really needs you!

 

 

 

there is NO absolute truth

each person has it’s own set of opinions and beliefs and when he discuss about something with other people he has it’s own “absolute truth” which is based on this set

but the other people have their own set, and their own truth…

I’ll give an example regarding “truth” :

Person A believes : “you should focus on enjoining the little things in life each day”

Person B believes : ” life has a purpose, everything should have a meaning, and the focus is for long term to be able to fulfill destiny”

so who is right ? each one of them knows “the truth”…but it’s only the way they perceive life.

 

so in such matters I believe that each one should live his life according to his truth, and should NOT try to persuade other people that his truth is the absolute truth !!!

if someone else see the way you live, and appreciate the results you have achieved, and wants to know more…you might consider sharing your truth to him

but be very careful and gentle, because you might rock their whole world, remember that till now they lived under a set of believes that you are now actually say they were wrong for their entire life ( till now ) and it’s a very difficult thing to accept.

so start by asking what are they trying to improve, and ask yourself how are your life in this area really like.

 

to finally succeed

one of the greatest minds in our generation, Albert Einstein once said : “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”

if it’s so simple and obvious, why people aren’t succeeding in changing the way they act?

in my life, in most cases, I was afraid that if I will change the way i do something I will end up with an even worse outcome, so i settled with the usual outcome.

for example, my wife tends to be angry very easily, so every time when something wasn’t according to the way she wanted it to be, she would start shouting at me and at the kids, start cursing, and threatening me that :”this is it”, “everything is over”, “you should go and never return”, and so on…

and because I was afraid that our marriage would end…and was afraid for what would happen to the children..I would do the same thing every time : come to her, try to understand why she was so angry, try to explain to her that there was nothing, and she would not talk to me, telling me to ask forgiveness, and we wouldn’t talk for several days with bad atmosphere in the house

I didn’t like the way I acted, but always after a few days the situation returned to be “normal”

 

a few days ago, it happened again, but this time I understood that I am living under terror, under constant threat that I need to accept everything…and if not…

and I decided that this is something that is un-acceptable to me, that living in this way is actually worse then the other options ( that we would break )

 

so I acted differently !!!!

 

I sent her a message in what’s up saying that i’m not willing to live under this kind of terror anymore, that the only way that is acceptable to me is that when we disagree on something we would talk and resolve things, and that in how we currently act, we actually teach our children to do the same, and that i HOPE that she would throw the terrorist inside of her to the garbage and leave the woman I love.

 

AMAZINGLY, the outcome was totally different : she replied that she understand that she is running a way from every situation she doesn’t know how to handle, and her way to defend herself is to shout & threaten, and from there on a dialog started ! the quarrel ended in less then 1 hour !!! and I think that things would be different from now on, because I was able to penetrate the Armour she built around herself for so many years

 

so what did I learn:

I learned that I need to realize if a certain outcome is really acceptable to me, and if not change the way I act, because it the current situation remains it’s not worth to maintain it and I actually have nothing to loose

I learned that when I change the way I act/react – the outcome will change, and I think that in most cases it would change for the best, and even if NOT then still it would be better.

I learned that it takes courage to use a different way

and I would start practicing changing the way I act to recurring situations i don’t like their outcome

the meaning of life

people are in constant search for the meaning of their life. especially as they become older , when they celebrate their birthday they are asking : what have I managed to accomplish so far ? are those things the important things ? did I manage to accomplish what I was meant to do ? will I be remembered ? will my actions / achievements make a different ? will they inspire other people to go beyond ?

I don’t think that there is an answer about the meaning of life. at least not an answer we can process or understand with our brain.
my belief is because our brain is only a part of our being and each one of us is only a small part of the universe. to understand my point, think that you ask your legs what is the meaning of their life… I’m sure you are smiling now…
so in my perception trying to understand or “tag” the meaning of life – isn’t the right way, because like I said the answers will be false.

l believe that each one have a certain path, that when he follow it he becomes a “natural” part of the universe in a state of wey wu wey.

What matters is to follow your path, when one do so, life are fulfilled, no matter what are the consequences, no matter what are the results, no matter how long you live.

in  the bible ( Genesis Chapter 2 ) it is written : “No shrub of the field was yet in the earth, and no herb of the field had yet sprung up; for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground” – so according to this man was created so the “system” of life can exist. each man in his own path.

How to find our path ?

I believe that the path is revealed to us by being aware to what happens in our life, by discovering where life is pointing us…

I will give you myself as an example : I have experienced many things in my life, learned a lot of things, but only lately I’ve became aware of the connection between some small part of the experiences that what makes them unique is the fact that they are connected, each one of them is amplifying the others and when connecting the dots, my life path is revealed.

The pieces are :

• my love to paint – I just love the ability to see something that touches my heart, and capture his essence into a painting, may it be a beautiful nature scenery, people in love, a lonely sad old man.
• my love for nature and all living creatures –  I became aware on how each creature see the world differently, learned to see trough their eyes, understand the complexity of the universe
• practicing Aikido – I discovered the way energy is flowing around us, inside us and how we can use it…a whole new world is being revealed before me…
• Creation and maintenance of natural planted aquariums a beautiful underwater worlds – again, it all starts from something that inspires me: a real underworld scenery, an imaginery world like avatar… I’ve learned how to create and maintain an environment in balance, a small world that can exist only if all of his parts will function properly.
• mastering bonsai – working with trees from the wild that were born long before me and will last after I will be gone – is to be surrounded by nature, let’s you become part of it.  each tree in the collection is a magic, a tree with a height of only 50-90 cm, that is capturing the  essence of a REAL old tree, and he is telling the world his story.

The above pieces are only a small part from my experiences in life ( beside them – I am married, got an amazing children, work in a leading hi-tech company,..) but for me they represent my own personal path which is what I have to offer to the world – in my case :

I was given the ability to be aware of a complex world/system/organization, and be able to understand his essence, the very core and fundamental basics, accompanies with the ability to transfer this experience/knowledge to other people, to make a change in the life of people around me ( my parents, my wife, my children, my employees, my boss, my customers,..) in 2 ways :

1. it is changing me, I am becoming aware to all the good that surrounds me, I am enjoying even from the simplest things ( a new bud in a tree in the spring, a hug from my children,..)
2. I get insights that I’m using to help people understand and solve challenges in their life

So, what is the meaning of life ?

To me, the meaning of life is to live your path.

Doesn’t matter how long you will live…

Doesn’t matter what achievements you’ve accomplished…

Doesn’t matter if you will be remembered…

When you live your path, you become more then yourself, you become a link in a chain, you get energy from others, and you channel it to others – you loose yourself and become life itself.

Finding the balance within

I have a cousin, he is 5 years older then me… a Genius that started composing music at the age of 5, he is a gifted mathematician, he earned his Ph.D. in mathematics & music at age 20, he is an advisor to NASA, renowned for his knowledge of the connections between mathematics and music…

 BUT…he wasn’t good looking…looks a bit like woodie allen, big nose, uncombed hair, ugly glasses with thick lens…he has never went out with girls…never even interested with them…

 I’ve always felt pity for him, thought he didn’t have what really counts ( which was in my mind the way you look and the ability to communicate with other people / girls 🙂 )…

I really cared for him, I wanted to help him, to make him better…I used to tell him : “leave all this mathematics stuff you’re doing…let me show you the real life…let me show you the way to really enjoy life…let me take you to cut your hair…remove this glasses…so you can feel better…and go out with girls”

 And he didn’t care, he said it’s not important for him…so we talked to his parents…telling them : “you must do something…the poor guy is not leaving like he deserves” and this fools told us : “let him be…he is happy the way he is…we don’t want to change him”…and we thought : what kind of parents are they ? why don’t they want their son to be happy ? why aren’t they willing to help us change him ?

 Only Last night after more then 30 years, during a walk with my dog it suddenly struck me…

 I have judged him according to the standards I believed in, I saw him through my narrow vision, I’ve compared him to what was ideal in my eyes…I operated under the assumption that all the people are the same…and they all inspire to the same things…the things that the society and my parents have trained me to believe that they are the most important…

 And he…was able to look inside himself…was able to really connect to himself…was able bravely to understand that he is different from the people around him…that he can allow himself to inspire to the things that he is flowing to them naturally…

 Unlike me and the people around me that are born in a state of Wey wu Wey , but as they grow up…they get lost…and loosing themselves…he was able to maintain his own Wey wu Wey since the day he was born…and throughout is whole life.

 And his parents, whom I always considered as an unloving parents…they were smart enough to understand that each one is unique…wise enough to understand that he has found his path on his own… conscious enough to understand that they cannot tell him what he should do…and only he knows what he needs to become.

 I want to share with you my insights on the difference between the rules & standards that we are trained by and our own personal insights…

 Rules come from outside of me…they are dead,constant, complicated…un-natural force that I need to learn and remember in my brain…my consciousness deals with them

 Insights come from inside of me…they are living, changing, growing…I don’t need to learn them…they are me and I am them…they are un- conscious…

 Rules are fixed, created and suitable for specific era/culture/place…frozen like Ice…represent an absolute truth.

 Insights are dynamic…different from man to woman…different from one person to another…changing from yesterday to tomorrow…suitable only for one person…flowing like water…stating my own personal truth..the way I conceive the Tao

 Rules alter my behavior , what I say, what I’m wearing, my relationship with others…the way I’m conceived in the world…

 Insights alter my being, my inner world, they are true for me only, but I can solve with them thousands of cases…

 So…why did I let external rules be my compass? How did I embrace a stranger truth to be my own ???? 

 I realize that there are 2 main reasons for that :

1.  I  thought that since they ( my parents, the society,..) live longer then me , they are wiser then me…but now I understand that life aren’t becoming clearer over time…a man can live a thousand years and remain stupid…a dynasty can exist for thousands of years, create wonderful books & standards that have nothing to do with me, that are no more valid for my era. I have realized that I can understand life only when I’m looking inside of me…only when I bring awareness to each and every experience…I get wisdom.
2. I knew that those who gave me the rules love me and I’m important for them, so they will act in order for my life to be better…now I realize that they do love me…but they also followed their parents…un aware that just like they are un-happy so will i be…they assumed that a child doesn’t know what he should do…they had no awareness to my unique existence

Rules are changing me from outside…but my inner being is un-changed…that is why I become full of contradictions…

On the other hand…insights are  altering me from inside…and also changing my outside ( the way I conceive people, the way I communicate with people, the way I love,…) making me live in harmony.

 Carl jung also understood it, he said : “Who looks outside, dreams…who looks inside, awakes” 

From now on…when somebody will ask for my help I will be sure to give him tools to understand and count on himself…and not to teach him rules, not to tell him what he should do. I will become my own truth so he will be inspired to find his own truth…his own unique destiny.

Music – the liberator of souls

You are welcome to listen to the Beethoven’s seventh symphony and read on…

 So much has been written…Music is :“the language of the spirit”…”an outburst of the soul”(Frederick Delius)… “the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life” (Ludwig van Beethoven)… “washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life” (Berthold Auerbach)… “what life sounds like” (Eric Olson)… “You are the music while the music lasts”  (T.S. Eliot)

 I want to share with you a personal experience: Last week I’ve attended a wedding. the wedding was full of high-energy south American songs. It was a very happy wedding. I felt so good, dancing, feeling the music inside of me, urging me to move, I was moving in exact harmony to the music, each beat was reflected by my body, without thinking about the moves, without planning, just flowing with the music, letting my body the freedom he desired.

 Some of the girls complimented me on the way I moved, one of the girls who has never before spoke to me, suggested to teach me some moves, I felt the people around me feeling more relaxed, more natural, vibrating together as a group to the power of the music. There was (almost ) no judgment – I didn’t need to think of how I’m looking, didn’t need to be what I’m not, just to be one with the music…and yet I felt love towards me, I felt people want to be close to me…

 A thought crossed my mind: what would happen when I get older, when I will no longer be able to move like this, when I will be less attractive?

 I’ve realized that the positive reaction of the people toward me wasn’t because of any special movements I made, it wasn’t because of the way I look, it was mainly because of me becoming one with the music…and since I (my ego ) wasn’t there…nothing judged them…allowing them to be themselves and loosing themselves in the music…it had nothing to do with me.

 You probably know the feeling when you enjoy with somebody in a party…feeling so good with him…feeling so close to him…and then in the next morning… something is different, and you’re trying to understand why yesterday you felt something to him, and now you feel different ( less ?)…

This is exactly what I’m talking about !

It is not how you felt to him in the party…it is how you felt with yourself in that situation…it is how much did he accepted you as you are… how were you able to be yourself…without trying to be somebody else…and on many occasions the music is the mean that helps us do just that ( and maybe a beer or two J )

 When we do not think of what others think of us, when we are without masks, then our soul is librated, and we are once again part of nature, one with Tao. We experience true and internal Joy !

 I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter if I can dance, it doesn’t matter if other people think I’m attractive or not, it doesn’t matter what other people say…the only thing that matters is allowing my self to be me with the good and bad – unique.

 I’ve realized that when my soul is free then nothing else matters.

Wey wu wey in Aikido

Eight years ago, In the course of my Aikido training I needed to learn the Aikido rolls…

I watched my master performing the rolls in an effort-less perfect circular movement

I watched him again and again trying to understand how he stands, how much power he uses when he jumps, in what angle does he hit the ground, where he puts his hands…

 After a while I’ve tried it myself, although it was only from a standing position ( not jumping in the air ) my movement was clumsy, my body collided with the floor, I felt a strong hits in all the points that touched the floor ( my shoulder, my back,..)…

I tried many times and I got hit again and again, and with the pain the fear became stronger, my body was trying to avoid the hits so he became stiff in the parts that were colliding with the ground… I felt helpless.

 I came to my master and told him : “I am unable to understand how to perform the roll the way you do it, can you please explain to me how exactly should I do it ?”

 He said : “I’m sorry, it is something that I can’t rephrase in words, it is NOT something that you need to learn, it is something that you knew but have forgotten, you can’t understand it with your brain, you can’t control the encounter with the ground because it is not the movement of your body you need to modify, it is the harmony that needs to be between your body and the Ground”

 He continued : “you need to achieve Wey Wu Wey, a state where the action of the roll will happen without action, without an effort, a state of perfect balance that only your will power will supply the energy”

 I told him : “you said I knew it but have forgotten it – can you explain”

 He answered : “remember when you learned how to ride your bicycle, you tried to ride and your fear of falling caused you to lean to the side and actually fall, the more effort you invested the harder it became…but when you kept on trying, there was a moment that the insight occurred, you found the balance, and since that moment you were able to ride the bicycle without falling. It wasn’t something you learned it was something you always had since birth and has return to you”

 After this conversation I tried this for many times but it was allways only 99% never perfect, I kept on training and achieved good progress in Aikido

 Only one year later in one of the training sessions, it happened : I released the energy from my body through the fingers of my right hand, and let this energy lead me, I didn’t think about the roll, didn’t think of the fear, didn’t think about my back/hands/legs, only gave my body the freedom to follow this energy to where ever she leads him – it was the perfect roll I’ve been waiting for so much.

 I’ve realized what is Wey wu wey !

 I also realized that I could never rephrase it in words, I will not be able to teach it to my son…

It is an amazing experience that one must accomplish by himself 

you are welcome to see this video of aikido kata to obserb the effort-less movments in aikido

Something is guiding me

It is so powerful When things you believe in, start happening…

 In my next posts I will write more on all those things…but I wanted to share with you some facts about changes in me since I started writing this blog !

 Before I started writing this blog, I felt I have no Energy,I felt I desperately needed love

 After I started writing the blog and sharing myself, i am full of energy, I am full of love and I am sharing it with my surrounding.

 In the last days, my wife started coming home early, taking care of the children, so I have the option of staying in the evening at work and writing…

 Since I started writing, it’s like a radio channel that have been open, and I get many insights on my life that are over-flooding my conscious, so I’m unable to contain or understand all of them…

 Yesterday while writing a draft post, I wanted to remember something from a book I’ve read 2 years ago…and you must understand : it is very hard to find things in my house…but amazingly…I found the book in the first place I looked …standing there waiting for me…

 This morning I was driving to work, and wanted to write something at a red light…but the pen I had didn’t work…I searched for another pen…she did work but the light has turned green and I had to drive…I realized that something is preventing me from writing it, so I let it go..i understood that  probably something in the idea that I wanted to write is not true…and indeed after a minute I understood the contradiction and was able to stop the car on the side of the road and write it down…

this expirience is a form of Wey Wu Wey

I’m feeling I’m in a perfect equilibrium within me and with the world…I got this inner serenity… an immense power that grows with in…floating to my consciousness…making my awareness sharp…and when I succeed to integrate this awareness into my experiences I’m acquiring wisdom.

I’m feeling good !

One moment of Love

In the second year of my study at the university, I went with friends to a party

I met a young woman, we danced, we talked, we had a really good time…at the end of the evening she gave me her phone number and I promised to call her.

 It was the beginning of the examination period in the university and we have decided to just talk over the phone and meet next month when the period will end.

During that month we talked each night, the conversations were long and meaningful, I have learned to know her : her hopes, her dreams, her fears, and she learned to know me – we felt like we know each other for ages like two twin souls that found each other.

Finally the period has ended and I rushed to her place, she opened the door, I walked in, we stood there, staring at each other eyes, it was such a strange feeling :  we knew each other so deeply, but we actually met for only one evening – we didn’t know how to close this gap.

 We stood like this, not knowing what is right and what is wrong, not knowing what will happen…

finally we closed the light, we let our being the freedom she desired – we were drawn to each other like two powerful magnets,

we hugged – it was so natural, so relaxing, we became one entity with no thoughts, no planning, flowing in the path we found.

We started to slowly dancing in one body, we felt that our clothes are separating between us so we took them off.

 I heard the beating of her heart slowing down, I felt her smooth skin, the fragrance of her body filled my all being,we were breathing as one , finally I could no longer distinguish between her and me – we became unity.

 Her lips came closer to mine, hovering, touching – not touching, each encounter was like an electrostatic discharge – we kissed deeply discovering each other, effort less, in a perfect rhythm, in total harmony.

I felt her firm breasts pushing against my body, her all body clings to me – time stood still.

 At 5 in the morning, I left…I drove home, the radio was opened in full volume, I was totally happy – I went to sleep in serenity . when the Morning came I was anticipating her phone call, the time passed and the phone didn’t ring – I’ve tried to call her but she didn’t answer my call – after a while I realized it was over just when it began  – my happiness turned into sadness, I was left with no energy – hopelessly trying to understand…

Two months later we accidentally met, I urged her to speak with me – we went to a quiet corner – for a minute there was silence and then I saw a tear falling from the corner of her eye, she said : “in that night, I lost control, I lost my self in you, I felt both the greatest feeling I ever felt and the greatest fear of loosing my self and the way I manage my life – and I’m not yet prepared to let go, too frightened of what will happen”, none of the things I said changed her mind, I kissed her on her cheek and we said goodbye.

 That experience was Love.

I’m not saying big love, not saying strong love – each word that I will add will just make it less, it was an experience that I lived with all my being, I don’t want to tag it, I don’t want to describe it, I don’t want my brain to remember it – I want it to keep living inside of me like pure energy.

 This love was short, but in that moment time stood still, time lost meaning.

I have realized that love is just like breathing – you can’t learn how to love, you can’t plan it, it is an ability that is inside each of us, but our fear is locking her inside, our ego wants to stay in control – he is afraid of what will happen, he is afraid to be hurt.

I have realized that to love is to be one with the Tao, when you loose yourself in the touch of a woman, in Aikido training, while observing nature, or by letting music breathe inside of you.

All we need to do is just let go, trust the Tao – and then it happens : effort-less, naturally, perfectly. It is a paradox that I can’t explain – you have to experience it by yourself .

True masters of life

my daughter first tab…

i watched her has my wife inserted her tiny body into the water…

she could feel the touch of the water surrounding her body…

she could sense the warmth of the water accepting her…

she could feel her body floating weight-less…

she could NOT define it

she just experienced it with all her being

a tender shivering of pleasure filled her

and a magical smile appeared on her face

and then…I wanted to teach her…

I told her “It’s water”

Something in her face changed…

her brain learned a new word, a new label

her brain has tagged and defined it

at that point I didn’t realize it…only years after I got the Insight :

before I told her…she was inside a living moment, she didn’t know where does she end and the water begins, there were no boundaries, she was one with the water

after I told her the experience will never repeat, she will just say “It’s water” she will just carry another word in her brain.

I realized that babies experience life in a way that we adults already forgotten…that we only carry dead, one-dimensional words in our brains.

I realized that babies are still part of Tao, and just like the trees on the land, the dolphins in the sea, the hawks in the skies…

They are the true masters of Life